Peak Performance: Gary Chupik's Mindfulness & Self-Belief Success Techniques

Ever wondered what mental strategies top athletes use to stay on top and how overcoming anxiety can propel you towards success?

In this powerful episode, Gary Chupik, dives deep into the intricacies of the human mindset and its pivotal role in shaping success. We explore the common roots of anxiety and Gary reveals how being overly fixated on the past or future can hinder performance.

Gary, a professional leadership coach, mindset coach, sports nut, strategist, writer, speaker, and founder of Elite Mindset from Seattle, Washington, is celebrated for guiding top athletes and professionals towards achieving peak mental states. He advocates for mindfulness as a tool for staying grounded in the present, thereby optimizing one's potential.

Gary's journey from pastoral duties to mental performance coaching unravels his innate talent for empowering individuals with self-awareness, belief in their abilities and the concept of neutral thinking is Gary's approach to managing emotions and boosting performance.

Gary's deep compassion for those who are under-privileged and under-resourced has always been a driving force behind his actions. The Next Level Foundation, an extension of Elite Mindset, collaborates with the Players Philanthropy Foundation to amplify this mission.

The Players Philanthropy Foundation is dedicated to improving the world through structured support, enabling servant leaders like Gary to effectively receive your generous contributions and make a meaningful impact.

If you're looking to elevate your mental performance, break through barriers, and achieve unparalleled success, this is the episode for you.

Gary's unique insights and practical techniques will provide you with the tools to shift your mindset and unlock your full potential. Whether you're an aspiring professional, an athlete, or simply someone seeking personal growth, you'll find valuable lessons and strategies to apply in your own journey.

Key Takeaways:
Anxiety is an over preoccupation with the past or the future.
Mindfulness helps individuals stay present and perform at their best.
Self-awareness is the greatest predictor of success.
Believing in oneself is crucial for reaching one's full potential

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Transcript

[TRANSCRIPT]

0:00:00 - (Gary Chupik): Anxiety is an over preoccupation with the past or the future. Like, if I'm working with an athlete and they have anxiety or performance anxiety, it's always, it's almost always a future oriented thing or a past oriented thing. So they're thinking about what other people will think, what will happen if I don't perform. Like, they're all past and future. And to be able to say, okay, listen, I need you in these 17 seconds, or I need do in this present moment to be able to perform at your best. So understanding that anxiety is that over preoccupation with the past or the future is powerful because that's where mindfulness comes in. Like, mindfulness is teaching you to be aware of your surroundings both mentally and physically and emotionally and psychologically and otherwise.

0:00:42 - (Gary Chupik): So one of my key secrets in working with athletes AI is interesting because it has a lot of the right answers, but it can't feel, at least yet. I finally figured out what mindset is and how to change it.

0:01:01 - (Tawni Nguyen): Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the Fit and Frugal podcast. I am your host, Tawni Nguyen. You can find me on IG at Tawnisaurus. So today, super exciting news. I have here someone incredibly human I met yesterday at the Legionnaire Mastermind, Gary. I'll let you introduce yourself because, you.

0:01:18 - (Gary Chupik): Know, there you go. My name is Gary Chupik. I'm a mental performance coach from Seattle, Washington.

0:01:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): Cool. The rainy city. Like, right before this, we were talking about colors and jewel tones and all of these fun things. And you know what I find really fascinating about you is that there's a lot of mental performance coach that I've talked to. They're so serious. And when I met you, your energy is just radiating. Like, you're just so happy and you kind of bring out that childlike curiosity in other people.

0:01:45 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, I appreciate that. Actually, it's kind of funny because when I'm in a locker room, I'm very different. Like, all the juices start flowing and I get real serious and I'm like, listen up, everyone. I'm a little bit different. I have an alter ego, but just in general, I'm a pretty happy go lucky person.

0:02:01 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. So you work with a lot of sports athletes, top performers. So talking about the mental performance aspect, what do you see or what have you witnessed as being the biggest limiting beliefs or whatever blockage, the biggest challenge that you see them face overall?

0:02:19 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, that's an outstanding question because there is a common trend amongst people who struggle mentally, and that is, I think the number one thing is they overthink. So they actually have too many thoughts going on in their head, and so those thoughts weigh them down. So think of thoughts like calories. So, if you have too many calories and then you feel lethargic and you can feel overweight and you slow down, and you might go into that carb. Overload. Right.

0:02:46 - (Gary Chupik): It literally slows you down. And so when you have too many thoughts that you can't expend, like, too many calories. Right. That if you don't expend those calories, you gain weight in the same way in mental performance. If you have too many thoughts and you don't sort of police those, then they slow you down and you get lethargic. And so one of the things I teach my clients is that, hey, you just got to think less.

0:03:07 - (Gary Chupik): Like, you got to think less. And so, like, for example, in baseball, there are 17 seconds between pitches. And so I want to control all 17 seconds, because if I can control all 17 seconds, then the athlete's not thinking about the pretty girl in the stands or what they're going to do after the game, or they don't have time to be anxious or nervous. They have to go through a protocol in those 17 seconds. So the idea is, yeah, don't overthink things. Like, you're thinking too much. You have to trust your instincts and trust your training.

0:03:34 - (Tawni Nguyen): I'm kind of absorbing that because it sounds so profoundly easy to do. Like, just do less and think less. So therefore, I'm overthinking because I'm overcompensating and overcorrecting myself. Like, oh, am I thinking too much now? So, I'm counting my thoughts as we go, which is 18 thoughts away from the 17 seconds. So, if you're watching my face right now, it's like that meme of the calculations. Like, okay, is this a thought? Oh, it's got to go away.

0:03:58 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah.

0:03:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): And it kind of comes down to the art of being so self aware that you can actually witness your thought and being present with yourself. Right. Is that what I'm hearing?

0:04:06 - (Gary Chupik): Correct. So, on average, we don't know for sure, but the best neuroscience tells us is that we have approximately 70,000 thoughts per day. Approximately 70. They think between 60 and 90, but let's say 70,000. And you can only control probably about 10% of them. So 90% are unconscious thoughts and 10% are only conscious thoughts. But your brain works so fast, and your brain picks up so many things. Like, for example, you have something in your brain called mirroring neurons.

0:04:37 - (Gary Chupik): And so what that is, is like, you know, when someone walks into a room and you instantly feel a certain way about them, like, instantly, that are even faster than your thoughts. And so you feel something. Those are called mirroring neurons. And so your brain is doing all types of calculations without you even knowing. So, for example, if I said look at something on a shelf for, like, a millisecond, and then turn it back away and look at me, you would have about 30 things you could say about the thing that you saw. You just don't process it that way.

0:05:10 - (Gary Chupik): So, like, for example, if you looked at the white statue on the shelf over here, and then you stopped, and then I could ask you 30 questions about that, and you would be able to tell me the answer to all of them. So your brain works so fast. And so the idea is, out of the 10% of the thoughts that you can control, we want to make sure that we can control those controllables. We want to make sure that we have mastery over that 10%, because what will happen is that 10% will then begin to inform your subconscious thoughts. And so once your subconscious thoughts begin to be informed by your conscious thoughts, and then you actually feel a lot better about your life.

0:05:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, it's kind of crazy. You said the subconscious and we're only able to control 10%. A lot of that. Does that have to do with neuroplasticity and a lot of similar work to Joe dispenser's work? You know how he's huge into that?

0:06:01 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, I think so. A lot of it is being aware. Being aware of your thoughts. Like, in my system that I teach professional athletes and people in business, is when we're teaching mental performance, there's three different aspects. You have awareness, you have education, and you have application. So that awareness is that you're aware of, oh, man, I'm thinking a thought, and I need to be aware of that.

0:06:23 - (Gary Chupik): And is this thought that I'm thinking producing anything for me? And if it's not producing anything for me, and then maybe I should let it go. Maybe I should literally let this go. But we're not even aware of our thoughts. So if we can become aware of a thought that's not producing anything for us, and then maybe we should let go of it, because we accept so many things without even thinking about it, about ourselves and about the world. So you have to become aware of something.

0:06:49 - (Gary Chupik): In fact, Dr. Jordan Peterson says, the number one trait amongst all successful people is self awareness. It is the greatest predictor of success, of all of the traits. And so being aware is crucial. If you're not aware, you don't really change. And then educate yourself is like, yeah, do your learning, do your part, but don't over learn. Don't think too much, because you could eat like, an apple is a good thing. But if you ate 100 apples in a day, right.

0:07:16 - (Gary Chupik): Even a good thing, you took in too much of it, and you'll still get fat.

0:07:19 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. So I heard two things that came out of that that I found really fascinating that you said. So, when you're unaware and it goes back to subconscious, do you feel that that's the root of anxiety and why people overthink, that leads them to just living on autopilot. And two, the second thing is, if you're unaware of your thoughts, how does that play a role in how you're behaving? Right. Because.

0:07:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, those are unaware of yourself.

0:07:43 - (Gary Chupik): Two great questions. So, your first one was. Remind me what your first question was.

0:07:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): So the subconscious is like, if you are unaware of your thoughts, you're pretty much not in control of the 10% of your conscious mind.

0:07:55 - (Gary Chupik): Right.

0:07:56 - (Tawni Nguyen): So does that lead to anxiety? And you just live in anxiety on auto. Autopilot.

0:08:03 - (Gary Chupik): So anxiety is an over preoccupation with the past or the future. Anxiety is an over preoccupation with the past or the future. So think of it like an hourglass that has sand in it. The top is the future, right? So time is passing, and the bottom is the past, and right in the middle is your present moment. And so that over preoccupation with the past or a future is the source of all anxiety. And so learning to be in that present moment and being fully present, where you are in the moment 100%, without your thoughts being somewhere else. Like, if I'm working with an athlete and they have anxiety or performance anxiety, it's almost always a future oriented thing or a past oriented thing. So they're thinking about what other people will think, what will happen if I don't perform?

0:08:54 - (Gary Chupik): I couldn't perform yesterday, so I'm probably not going to perform well today. They're all past and future. And to be able to say, okay, listen, I need you in these 17 seconds, or I need you in this present moment to be able to perform at your best. So, understanding that anxiety is that over preoccupation with the past or the future is powerful because that's where mindfulness comes in. Like, mindfulness is teaching you to be aware of your surroundings, both mentally and physically and emotionally and psychologically and otherwise.

0:09:23 - (Gary Chupik): So, yeah, it's an important piece in performance to live in the present moment.

0:09:29 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I take that for myself, too, because I think we're so conditioned to be craving chaos because that's the familiarity is you constantly need stimulation. You need the world around you to reflect how you feel on the inside. And when you brought up mindfulness, a lot of people ask me, they're like, hey, since you've worked on this self mastery journey, does it become boring? And lately, that's the kind of word that I've been hearing is that meditation is so boring.

0:09:55 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's really not, because it's not really a mindful state that you're in. You're just collecting thoughts. Like, you're not trying to empty your mind. You're just trying to witness your thoughts come and try to get to the root of why you're thinking those thoughts. And it's kind of like an inception thing, but I got to make a joke. When you're like, I need you in the 17 seconds in performance. And most men would love to hear that if that was the case.

0:10:16 - (Gary Chupik): Right? That's right.

0:10:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): I need you to be there for 17 seconds. Say less.

0:10:20 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, exactly.

0:10:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): When did you find your gift, and how was that moment like for you when you discovered, like, this is my gift and this is how I help other humans reach their full potential?

0:10:32 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, that's a really interesting question because I was a pastor, an ordained pastor for 27 years, and so I have sort of been in the helps industry for a long time, and there's different kinds of pastors, just like there are different kinds of leaders. And so my primary style was coaching because I always like to leave things open ended. I don't like to make statements and make everyone else believe them. I was just like, here's a situation, or here's a story, and what do you guys think?

0:10:57 - (Gary Chupik): What are we going to do about this? What are our options? What do you think? And so I've always been very much an open ended and very much am a believer in people. Everybody believes in an ideology and is passionate about their ideologies. And our tastes change. We evolve and grow as human beings. But being a believer in people is constant, and I believe in the power of people. So after I was done pastoring, because I had experienced a burnout, I had a kind of a quiet, but basically a quiet year where I was just sort of contemplating my life, I thought, well, this is a great time to have a midlife crisis in my late 40s, right? Like, I'm going to go buy, like, a Buick or something. Or, like, what should I do for my midlife cris? Should I have an affair? Should I buy a buick?

0:11:46 - (Gary Chupik): I don't know. So I decided to hit a hard reset button in my life and kind of be mindful. Right. Take note of what I was thinking, what I was going through. So this idea of coaching had always sort of been my thing, and I was a high school athlete and a little bit of a college athlete, so I've always loved the mental part. And then I ended up getting in touch with some pretty amazing people that introduced me to Trevor Moad.

0:12:11 - (Gary Chupik): Trevor Moad was the mental performance coach for Russell Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos. And so we started spending some time together, and he was like, why don't you take all that pastor stuff that you know, and apply it to mental performance? And there's a lot of commonality in your coaching. And so he kind of mentored me for a year, which was a super incredible experience, and then he said, well, show me what you got.

0:12:34 - (Gary Chupik): What's your plan for helping people mentally? And so I showed it Tim, and he goes, damn, that's good. That's really good. And they hired me on the spot.

0:12:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): Wow.

0:12:44 - (Gary Chupik): I went from pastor, which I actually never wanted to be, ever. I never wanted to be a pastor ever. But I did it for 27 years. But I never wanted to.

0:12:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): Why did you get into pastoring? Like, how?

0:12:57 - (Gary Chupik): Well, a little bit of his environment, right? Like, it's nature and nurture, right? But a little bit is environment. A little bit was kind of what I wanted to do with my life, which was help people. I just kind of didn't know how to help people, and I thought being a pastor would be a great way to do that. So I never really wanted to do it, but I did it as an act of obedience and an act of sacrifice. So I did it, but I really struggled enjoying it for 27 years.

0:13:26 - (Gary Chupik): And then when I had that, it wasn't really a nervous breakdown, but just like a burnout. And then when I hit that burnout and I was like, okay, now I can hit the reset button in my life. I'm not going to have an affair. I'm not going to buy a buick. I'm going to rethink what I want to do with my life. And so I kept thinking, like, what do I want to do? What do I want to do? And then I realized that, man, if I could answer that question, the stars would align for me personally.

0:13:53 - (Gary Chupik): So I thought, man, this mental performance stuff just lights me up and helping people. And so I pursued that with all of my heart. I just jumped right in, and then the world opened up to me because so much of life, you feel like you're walking into the wind, right? Like it's hard, like you're trying to figure you out and you're trying to figure life out. And so when I kind of jumped in with both feet and I started to figure a couple things out, and then I thought, well, I got to take a risk.

0:14:20 - (Gary Chupik): And so I took this risk of mental performance and surrounded myself with the right people and got lucky a few times just with being connected. And I got a call from the Seattle Seahawks asking if I would be part of a pilot program, which was a totally random call. I don't even know how they got my phone number, but I ended up getting connected. That was a big part of my journey. And then I thought, well, I wonder if I could charge somebody for my coaching.

0:14:46 - (Gary Chupik): I wonder if they'd pay me like $20 an hour. I would get a few clients and then just say, hey, it's $20 an hour. They're like, oh, sure, you're a great deal. I'm like, okay, then it was 40, then it was 100, then it was 200, and then it was 300, 500, then it was 1000, and then it's like thousands. I wish I made thousands every hour, but I don't. But you just have to believe in yourself, and you have to take those steps of courage, but a lot of it's believing in yourself like that. It all starts with self belief, because imagine I'm holding a cup, and this cup represents how much I believe in myself.

0:15:29 - (Gary Chupik): That if I put in the work and I put in the training and I'm dedicated, what's possible. And so everybody leaks at something, right? So if you say my self confidence or my self belief is a five, no matter what gets poured into you, you're going to leak at a five. It won't matter what gets poured into you, how much you learn, how much you have. People speak into your life, you'll always leak at a five, because that's what your self belief is. If your self belief is a seven, you'll always leak at a seven. If it's a three, you'll always leak. You'll always leak at the level of your self belief.

0:16:00 - (Gary Chupik): So my job is to help people be a ten so they can live out of the overflow of their self belief. And all of a sudden now it's game on. Like, what's possible when you really believe in yourself.

0:16:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I love the cup analogy, because lately it's all about self care, self compassion, kindness, offering yourself grace so that you can actually, it's always about filling your cup first. And I love that you brought up the cup thing because I feel like I envisioned a ship first, but you saw the many thoughts that went to my head. But I feel like those leaks that you're talking about, a lot of people try to slap a band aid externally on the outside, as like, this will be the fix, the money will fix it, the external validation will fix the social validation or whatever.

0:16:38 - (Tawni Nguyen): Social media will fix all of my problems if I can show the world who I think I should be. And I love that you brought that up, that you didn't want to do it, but it's something that you thought you should have done because you went down the path of chasing, like, maybe this is who I am. And you kind of aligned to that for 27 years is a huge acknowledgment in your time and your devotion to your craft, of even discovering who you are. So I want to acknowledge you for how authentic you're being in your midlife cris. And I'm glad you didn't buy beers.

0:17:06 - (Tawni Nguyen): I'm really happy.

0:17:07 - (Gary Chupik): It was either that or a Monte Carlo.

0:17:11 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. So you said you went through your quiet season, right? Which a lot of people it's really hard for because we idolize that season as, like, either a depressive episode or a depressive season, or we attach it to some sort of mental health crisis. I've had many midlife crisis, and I'm in my thirty s. And you feel like it's the doom and gloom, like it's the end of the world. It's either I end my life now, or I end the life that I'm currently living so that I can actually wake up and design a life.

0:17:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): What was your biggest obstacle and challenge that you faced in that season? To really bring you out into the light of who you are?

0:17:49 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, you ask insightful questions. Way to go. So I think we all hear voices, and I think we all have inner advertising campaigns where voices are trying to sell us something. And when we can identify those voices, it's really helpful. But some of those voices, whether it's ours or somebody else in our life, they're really loud. And so I like to think of it like a knob, like a volume knob. And how can I turn down the volume of these voices in my life? Some of them, I can turn them all the way down to zero, where I eliminate them.

0:18:30 - (Gary Chupik): But sometimes it takes some time to turn down the volume and some distance away from those voices. And so it's like, well, pay attention and be aware of the voices that are in your head telling you things. And I'm not much for listening to myself anymore. I'm more about talking to myself. Because if I listen, like, a lot of those are subconscious thoughts and subconscious voices in our heads, but I don't find them terribly helpful.

0:19:00 - (Gary Chupik): I think if I can learn to talk to myself, then I can encourage myself. Then I can tell myself where I want to be now. I can tell myself what I want to do with my life. And I turned down. So I think during that dark time or that more quiet time in my life, it was like I felt like I was in a coffin, to be honest. It was like I feel trapped, and I don't know how to get out. I'm confused. I'm emotionally exhausted.

0:19:23 - (Gary Chupik): And I felt like I was in a coffin. And the way I describe it, it's like a cat being in a box. Like you're trying to scratch out of the box, right? And I felt like I was dying, in a way. And then there was, like, this quiet, still voice. I call it God, but people can call it whatever they want. But I heard this phrase just out of the clear blue, and it was, let death do its work in you. Like, let some things die so that new things can rise. But I was holding on to so many things. Like, this is who I am, this is what I want to do. But I needed to let some things die. And so don't rush the death.

0:20:03 - (Gary Chupik): Just let death do its work in you. And then you can start with a clean slate.

0:20:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Oh, my God. I have, like, chills. Lana, can you see the goosebumps from there? No. That is really powerful, because that's exactly the feeling I resonate with. Is that really lonely season to where you think it's the end? But now, a few years from my previous midlife crisis, I've identified those feelings and those limiting beliefs and those voices. I couldn't label them until you've just now kind of really put a word just to describe. Because I feel like a lot of people do feel stuck. They feel lonely. They just can't label. Just like if you go to therapy for the first time, they're like, how are you feeling?

0:20:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): I didn't know how I was feeling. I couldn't even tell you more than three emotions.

0:20:57 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah. Good.

0:20:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): I'm okay, right? Medium.

0:21:01 - (Gary Chupik): But the language of the soul, that's challenging because think of it like a well, and down in the well, you have this pot, and the pot is like what you think and your feelings, and I mean, all of your soul. Right. And our job is to take the time to pull up that pot because it's dark and wet down there. And our job is to pull up that pot and expose it to the light. And then we can kind of go, oh, that's what I think. Or, oh, that's who I am, or, yeah, no, I don't want that.

0:21:30 - (Gary Chupik): Why am I entertaining these thoughts or have these relationships or these friendships that they're just not producing anything for me, part of our job is to put ourselves in a position to bring up the pot and expose it to the light. And then once it's exposed and it's on the surface, then we can go, oh, yeah, do I want to live with that? It's pretty scummy. There's gross things in that pot. Like, no, I want to change.

0:21:53 - (Gary Chupik): I want to evolve.

0:21:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. And I love the pot thing because I call it like a plant, right? Because you can put your roots in soil, but the more you water it with all the negative things, your environment, people, places, things, just habits, just anything, like the micro habits that you add to yourself before you even take the roots up and start over fresh. I think the process of unbecoming, it's kind of like ripping out your roots and just letting it kind of dry a little bit and just getting rid of the soil.

0:22:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): That process is so nasty. It's so. Because you don't realize that's exactly what you're doing. Because, yeah, you probably know, like, you should work out. You should eat somewhat healthy 80% of the times, right. But there's a lot of people, I feel like they're still stacking habits and all these healthy things on top of really rotten soil. And there's add much to it. Right. That value.

0:22:47 - (Gary Chupik): So good. Yeah, that's so good. It's interesting how sometimes we have internal work that we do, but then there's the external work that we do, and the internal work is the stuff that we're talking about. The external work is when a plant's not growing, do you get mad at the plant for not growing? No. You say, maybe the soil isn't the right soil, maybe it's not the right ph level, maybe it's not. And then you say, I wonder if it's in the right environment. Like, maybe it shouldn't be in the sun and it's in the sun. So it's a soil issue and it's an environment issue.

0:23:22 - (Gary Chupik): So how can we change our environment to really match how we feel and who we are and where we want to go? So sometimes we need to do that external work. The other thing that I really love about what you said that sort of triggered a thought for me was the pulling up of the plant. So a lot of people have a vision for their life, but one of the things that made a huge impact on me, and I spend a lot of time meditating in prayer and reading and whatever, but I was closing my eyes one day, and I was just sort of thinking about my life. And I grew up in a little town in Saskatchewan, Canada.

0:23:58 - (Gary Chupik): And it was like, if it's a little pot, it's like this big. It's like a little tiny. Like I'm a plant in a small. Then. And then I feel like the roots were painfully ripped out of that. And then I moved to Seattle and got married. Not that that was painful, but just the transition was a pretty big transition. And then I saw myself in this bigger pot in Seattle, and then I started to lead a congregation. I actually started it from scratch, by the way, but I feel like that was a pretty big shift. And then I ended up getting involved in some regional things, and that was another transplant. So you loosen those roots again, which is painful because you can hear them tear, right?

0:24:43 - (Gary Chupik): And then you pull it up, and you put that plant in a bigger pot with more soil. And then I started to do some national things, and that was a bigger pot. The entire time, I'm sort of identifying what these pots are in my life. And then I started doing some international work, and I thought, man, this is a garden. Like, now the pots getting big, now it's a garden. And when you think about it, when a plant grows, especially, like, fruit or wheat, the seeds have to, like the plant. Part of the plant has to die, right?

0:25:21 - (Gary Chupik): And in order for it to reproduce, parts of it have to die so that it can grow into a garden and grow into a field. And so now I feel like in my life, I feel like, okay, now I'm not in the garden anymore. I'm in a field. And so now it's international and as big as I want it to be. And so now I'm like, okay, how do I position myself in such a way as to be as effective I can in the influence that I want to have on an international basis? But there's still parts of me that have to die. So even though I'm a mental performance coach, and I should have everything down, right.

0:25:58 - (Gary Chupik): I should have a mind of steel. But we all have insecurities, right? We're not good at everything. And so part of my challenge is, like, more levels, more devils. It's like once you reach a plateau and you can look back and you can say, man, I'm so glad I took those risks, and I put in the effort, and that was hard. And then you sort of look back where you are and you say how beautiful the scenery is, but then there's another whole hill or mountain to climb, and it's scarier, and every level is scarier than the previous, but you've learned to tolerate the discomfort, and you learn to sort of talk, not listen to yourself, but talk to yourself like, hey, you know what? I did this last one. I can probably do this one if I work hard enough.

0:26:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, a lot of that. Does it have to do with your ability to emotionally regulate yourself as well? Because a lot of I feel like limiting beliefs. Negative self talk, self doubt, especially, is really tied to deeply rooted issues. I love that you've brought that up, because we're always projecting insecurities, not just outward into others, but into the relationship with ourself. And that's why we have that constant battle with the voices, the constant battle of, like, how come people say, I'm great, but I don't see it? And the person in the mirror, that conversation that you have is really the most important one, and people can't even face themselves because they're like, oh, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy.

0:27:19 - (Tawni Nguyen): I'm not enough. And I think that's the root of everything for everyone, right?

0:27:23 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah, that's a really interesting question. I think there's a human way to answer that question, and there's a mental performance way to answer that question. One of my key secrets in working with athletes is something called neutral thinking. So we know that positive thinking has some good effect. There's some good effect. I think, for the average person, positive thinking has a lot of effect, but for an elite athlete, it's actually not very important.

0:27:59 - (Gary Chupik): Negative thinking really works. It just works for the negative. Right. It actually is very detrimental. We know if you keep telling yourself that you're a loser, you'll probably do things that losers do. Right. But neutral thinking is different. It's not ignoring your feelings. It's postponing them to accomplish a task. So in the present moment, we talked about the hourglass. If you want to perform at a high level in the present moment, you can't be too emotional.

0:28:30 - (Gary Chupik): You just sort of put your mind and your soul into neutral so that you can accomplish a task. So we call it neutral thinking. Not overly positive, not overly negative. All I'm doing is focusing on what I need to do, and you're going to be really hard to beat if you can be in neutral thinking a lot. So neutral thinking is really a key, but it's a way to manage emotions. And so, I mean, when's the worst time in the world for an athlete who's just played a game that they lost? When's the worst time in the world for him or her to evaluate their performance?

0:29:02 - (Gary Chupik): Like, right after the game? Yeah, it's the worst time. And really, the reason why you evaluate is to get better, to learn. You're not learning much when you're emotionally jacked up. Right. You're not learning much. And so what if I postponed my emotions or scheduled my emotions for 09:00 a.m. On a Monday morning so that I'm more together so I can learn better from my performance and not be so emotional?

0:29:27 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, it's funny you said, like, scheduling your feelings. It kind of reminds me of the previous conversation we had with, you're working on a project with AI. I don't know how that got triggered into my thought right now, but you know how now we're optimizing, obviously, our health internally, externally, and we're also using AI because that's the future, the way the algorithm works. And everything is so heavily digitalized that everything that you do is in the process of creation, of doing less, just so you can do more of the important things.

0:29:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): But do you feel that as a person that's AI friendly? Do you feel that that's going to affect the way we make human connection and just be able to connect with other people just like you and I are?

0:30:11 - (Gary Chupik): Right. Yeah. It's interesting because one of the powerful things about our conversation, even right now, is that there's an emotional and relational dynamic. Right. That's very fluid. And AI is interesting because it has a lot of the right answers, but it can't feel, at least yet. So, I mean, AI can. They're saying that AI will eventually be sentient, and that's very possible. But I still think, and I think Covid proved this, that we are still an experiential people.

0:30:39 - (Gary Chupik): I think there's still an experiential economy. And so I think the AI can put us in a position to better experience the experiences. Right. So AI can be helpful in us getting together. AI can be helpful in setting us up. But in terms of the conversations and the depth that we have, we are talking about, like, even right now, we're talking about the soul, and we're talking about our bodies and how they interact, and we're talking about the mind and the subconscious mind.

0:31:07 - (Gary Chupik): But there's a human element, and those mirroring neurons are connecting with one another even faster than our thoughts. I think there's limitations that we're not yet aware of. Like, for example, have you ever seen the movie minority report?

0:31:21 - (Tawni Nguyen): Heard of it?

0:31:22 - (Gary Chupik): Never. Yeah. So it's like, instead of a computer screen, it's like this big, wide, transparent screen, and you're moving your hands, and it's just this unbelievably technological dynamic. Really cool scene. But yet, if you really were to think about it, the reason why it's not successful is because it's exhausting to move your hands over for hours and hours and hours. And it's so interesting to me that it's like, oh, yeah, there's still a human element to the AI and to the technology, and no one can move their hands around like this on a screen for 8 hours in a day.

0:31:57 - (Gary Chupik): And when you think about it, a mouse is actually a really good idea because you just have to move your finger and wrist. And so it's like, oh, wait a minute. The technology is super cool, but there's a human element to it that limits the technology. And so I think, in the same way, I think people still long for experiences. And we found out with COVID that Zoom doesn't really work that much anymore.

0:32:18 - (Gary Chupik): Their stock has gone down. People want to be. The companies are calling people back because there's a human dynamic that I'm not sure AI can replace, and maybe it can with computers and robots and things like that, and maybe they'll become more sentient, but I think we're a ways off from that.

0:32:36 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I'm hearing that use AI to actually optimize your time so that it can allow you to make more money as a resource, because money is a tool so that you can free up your most powerful resource, which is time, so that you can spend it to make human connections.

0:32:48 - (Gary Chupik): So true.

0:32:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): But what we're afraid of is, like, how's the kids going to turn out?

0:32:51 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah.

0:32:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): If they're put in two chairs and forced to have a conversation, they're going.

0:32:56 - (Gary Chupik): To be like, yeah, it's rather hilarious because most of us want to use the AI so we can have more experiences.

0:33:02 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. So what advice would you kind of leave here? I love your energy. I don't know where we came with this thought, and I can feel my synapses firing off, too. And I have a billion more questions for you, but I want to be mindful of your time, obviously. But what advice would you give someone that's obviously not an athlete, just a regular human being that wants to change their life, that wants to optimize who they are to start doing, just to become their full potential?

0:33:31 - (Gary Chupik): Well, can I circle back on something that you asked me a little while ago? And I think it'll sort of orbit the answer a little bit. So, mindset is crucial because things always happen twice. They happen in your mind first, and then they happen in real life. So they happened in your mind first. You imagine it, you think about it, you have thoughts, and then you go and execute. So having a healthy mindset is really crucial.

0:33:58 - (Gary Chupik): And so I've spent the last, probably 25 years thinking about mindset, and then the last five years intensely thinking about mindset. And then I would say in the last year, I finally figured it out. I finally figured out what mindset is and how to change it. It's taken me, like, thousands of hours to figure this out, and I think I finally did it. So when I hear definitions of mindset, I go, that's terrible, or that's nothing.

0:34:24 - (Gary Chupik): And so I'm a little arrogant that I think I figured it out, but I think I did. So where does mindset come from? And if you figure out where mindset comes from, then you can figure out how to change it.

0:34:34 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah.

0:34:36 - (Gary Chupik): If you think about mindset, the very first thing it begins with is an experience. You have an experience in your life that either happens to you or you participated it in some way. So you have an experience, and then in brackets, think of this like a physics equation. Right? Then in brackets, you have thoughts and feelings associated with that experience. And I don't know which one comes first always the thought or the feeling. But you do have thoughts and feelings associated with that experience.

0:35:02 - (Gary Chupik): And what happens then is you get to choose sort of like an equal sign. You get to choose your response. You get to choose your response to an experience that you've had in your life and your thoughts and feelings about it. You get to choose. So you get to choose how you respond to those things, but it doesn't end there. If you put all of that together, the experience, the thoughts and feelings associated with that experience, plus my response, now you've created a belief.

0:35:31 - (Gary Chupik): Now you believe something and you believe it because you had this experience, you had thoughts and feelings about it and that you created a response. And now you have a belief. And if you put all of that together, now you have a mindset.

0:35:47 - (Tawni Nguyen): Wow.

0:35:48 - (Gary Chupik): So now you have a mindset. But it doesn't end with mindset, because if all I do is change somebody's mindset, but it doesn't result in new and improved behaviors, then it's just stuck in your mind. I need it to sort of manifest in your life. So you have an experience, thoughts and feelings associated with the experience, plus my response, that creates a belief, that creates a mindset. But your mindset must always result in new and improved behaviors.

0:36:13 - (Gary Chupik): So now I'm going to behave differently because I've changed my mindset. And those behaviors, if you think about them, are actually new experiences. So it cycles back to the beginning. So now I can create new experiences for myself that are healthier and positive, and now I can create new and improved thoughts and feelings associated with that experience, and I can create a better response to those things. And now I can create better beliefs about my life.

0:36:41 - (Gary Chupik): And now I have literally improved my mindset. And now that results in new and improved thoughts, permitted behaviors. And now I've created a new experience and I keep cycling. I keep building my mindset like this. Here's the trick. The trick in all of that is your response to experiences and your thoughts and your feelings. It's your response. So if I'm helping, working with a client, and I notice that their mindset's really terrible, I'll say, what happened?

0:37:12 - (Gary Chupik): Because that's the experience. And I'll say, well, how did that make you think and feel? Made me think and feel. Well, how did you respond? Oh, well, I went into a shell. That was so traumatic for me. I went into a shell and I isolated myself. And so what did you believe? Oh, I believed that this situation is dangerous or this situation is bad or these people are bad or whatever, I'm like, oh, well, so you created a belief that informs your mindset. So now I invite my clients to go back to the experience, the thoughts and the feelings, and especially their response, because the question I'd like to ask is, so if you could coach yourself and whisper in your 14 year old ear about that experience, what advice would you give yourself?

0:37:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I think I would hear myself say now, yes. In my 30s.

0:38:02 - (Gary Chupik): Exactly.

0:38:03 - (Tawni Nguyen): The story that you create for yourself is much louder than what actually happened.

0:38:08 - (Gary Chupik): Bingo.

0:38:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): And you rewrite that narrative.

0:38:10 - (Gary Chupik): You got it. You just coached yourself. You just coached yourself. And so now what do you want to believe?

0:38:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): Wow.

0:38:18 - (Gary Chupik): Now what do you want to believe about your life? What do you want to believe about you? And if you can say, you know what? I think I figured out that I'm pretty resilient. I didn't give up. I went through hell for too long. I entertained poor and negative, unproductive thoughts. But I pulled myself out of it. And I think when I face things from now on, I think I just need to believe in myself.

0:38:44 - (Tawni Nguyen): Wow. I'm at a last for.

0:38:48 - (Gary Chupik): Okay. That's okay. You're welcome.

0:38:51 - (Tawni Nguyen): Where can people connect with you? Is it on? Yeah.

0:38:53 - (Gary Chupik): Yeah. A lot of my athletes are my clients. Yeah. They're all so. Instagram is the best thing under @elitemindset, and my website is elitemindsetnation.com.

0:39:04 - (Tawni Nguyen): Thank you so much for your time and being here. All right, that's it for us today. Again, I'm Tawni. You can find me at @FitFrugalPod or @tawnisaurus on ig. Stay fit and stay frugal. Thanks.